Helpful information about Child Inclusive Mediation

Question 1

What type of topics are covered in Child Inclusive Mediation?

Accepted Answer

Children too harbour concerns about the changes taking place as a result of a separation. It is the mediators role to encourage your child to be able to share what might be bothering them. Some of the topics the mediator might discuss with your child can include:​ 1. Which parent will they reside with? 2. Will they stay in the same house? 3. How will they get to see both of their parents? 4. Will the separation impact their friendship groups, clubs, school activities etc.? 5. What impact will this have on their interaction with extended family members such as grandparents, cousins etc.? Once the mediator and child have discussed all relevant aspects of the separation that might impact them, the mediator will convey these concerns to the parents in a mediation session in order to explore ways to make the transition easier on the child whilst meeting the needs of each parent.

Question 2

How old does my child have to be to participate in Child Inclusive Mediation?

Accepted Answer

Children must be aged 10 years and over to be consulted as part of the mediation process. The Family Mediation Council's Code of Practice requires that all children aged 10 years and above should be offered the opportunity to have their voice heard directly during the mediation process, if they wish.

Question 3

Why is it beneficial to include Child Inclusive Mediation in your journey?

Accepted Answer

Research shows that consulting children about their views during or following a time of family separation is helpful to them and their mental health. It can be beneficial for a child to talk to a mediator because: 1. A child may not tell a parent what they really think, especially if the child is aware of any conflict between the parents 2. A child may not have an opportunity to talk to both parents at the same time and may be very worried about saying things to one parent rather than giving exactly the same message to both parents at the same time. It is not uncommon for children to say one thing to one parent and something completely different to the other parent 3. In families where emotions are highly charged, children are preoccupied in keeping the peace, and may not feel that have had space or permission to dwell on what their own feelings are. Speaking to the mediator gives children in this situation a chance to think about their own views 4. It gives all children a private space, to be asked how they are and if they have any views to be taken into account. Both parents are given this opportunity when they meet the mediator on their own; children should have this opportunity too 5. A parent is deeply involved in the emotional nurturing and wellbeing for a child and is not in an impartial place to hear or provide feedback of a child’s views. Even with the best will in the world, the parent might not understand or convey the child’s feelings to the other parent or mediator in the way the child would wish 6. The things that the parents are worried about, including their worries about how the child is feeling, may make it more difficult for the child to talk freely about how they are feeling and what they think is important

Question 4

Who can conduct a Child Inclusive Mediation?

Accepted Answer

A trained and qualified mediator should run your Child Inclusive Mediation. Working with children brings a complex dimension to mediation and so it is important your mediator has the expertise and experience to navigate these types of conversations.