FMC-registered family mediators, by video across England and WalesFree 10-minute call: 0330 043 6360

Child-inclusive mediation: giving your child a voice

Child-inclusive mediation (CIM) gives children aged 10 and over a safe, confidential space to talk to a specially trained mediator about how the separation feels and what matters to them. With the child's agreement, the mediator then shares their views with both parents to help you make decisions together. It costs £200 per family.

A parent's and a toddler's boots side by side

Why include your child?

Separation can be particularly hard for children, and research shows that being consulted during family separation is good for their wellbeing. Talking to a mediator can help because:

  • Children often don't tell a parent what they really think, especially if they are aware of conflict.
  • They may say different things to each parent, to avoid upsetting either of you.
  • In tense households, children are often busy keeping the peace and haven't had space to think about their own feelings.
  • Both parents get a private space with the mediator; children deserve the same.
  • However loving, a parent is not in an impartial position to hear and pass on a child's views.

What happens

  1. Both parents agree. We discuss CIM at your MIAMs and agree how your child will be invited.
  2. The child session. A relaxed 60-minute conversation between your child and the mediator, by video. If you have more than one child, all can be included.
  3. Agreeing feedback. The mediator and child agree what the child would like shared.
  4. Parent feedback session. The mediator shares the child's views with you both, and helps you use them in your parenting plan.

What it costs

The child session is £200 in total, usually split between parents (£100 each). The parent feedback session is £130 per parent. See all fees.

Frequently asked questions

How old does my child need to be?

The Family Mediation Council Code of Practice says children aged 10 and over should be offered the chance to have their voice heard directly, if they wish. Younger children may be considered case by case.

Will my child have to choose between us?

No. The mediator makes clear at the start that your child is not being asked to decide anything or take sides. The aim is simply to hear how things feel for them. Decisions remain with you as parents.

Is what my child says confidential?

Yes. The mediator agrees with your child what, if anything, they would like passed on to you, and how. The only exception is if something they say suggests a child is at risk of harm, when safeguarding steps must be taken.

Who can carry out child-inclusive mediation?

Only mediators who have completed specific child-inclusive mediation (CIM) training and hold the necessary checks. At Ark, Romina Kamran and Tamsin Remnant are trained child-inclusive mediators, and they meet children in a relaxed, age-appropriate way.

Do both parents have to agree?

Yes. Both parents need to consent before the mediator meets the child, and the child must also want to take part. Children can say no, or stop at any point, without any pressure or consequence.

Book your free 10-minute call

Tell us a little about your situation and a mediator will call you back, usually the same working day.

  1. Send us a few details
  2. A mediator calls you back at a time that suits you
  3. No obligation, and nothing is shared with your ex-partner

Prefer to talk now? 0330 043 6360

Call usBook a free call