One of the questions we are asked most is how long mediation takes. Every family is different, but most reach agreement in two to four sessions over a few weeks to a few months. A contested court case, by comparison, often takes many months and sometimes more than a year. This guide explains what affects the timeline and what each stage involves.
What affects how long mediation takes
- What you need to agree: child arrangements alone are usually quicker than finances.
- Financial complexity: pensions, businesses or several properties take longer to work through.
- How quickly you share information: financial disclosure is often the step that sets the pace.
- The level of conflict: if communication is difficult, shuttle mediation can help, though it may take a little longer.
- Readiness: sometimes one person needs more time to come to terms with the separation.
The timeline, step by step
1. Your MIAM (week 1)
Everything starts with a MIAM, a private one-to-one meeting of up to 60 minutes. Your mediator explains how mediation works, checks it is safe and suitable, and talks through costs. At Ark, MIAMs can usually be booked quickly, and an urgent MIAM can take place within 24 hours of payment.
2. The other person’s MIAM (weeks 1 to 3)
Each of you attends your own MIAM. How quickly the other person books theirs often decides when joint sessions can begin.
3. Joint mediation sessions (weeks 2 to 12)
Sessions are usually two to three weeks apart, giving you time to reflect, gather documents and take legal advice.
- Child arrangements: often one or two sessions. You agree where children live, time with each parent, holidays and how you will communicate, recorded in a parenting plan.
- Finances: often three to five sessions. You each complete an Open Financial Statement, then explore options for the home, savings, pensions and maintenance.
4. Your written agreement
Your mediator writes up what you have agreed: a parenting plan for children, and a Memorandum of Understanding for finances. A solicitor can then turn a financial agreement into a legally binding consent order.
Mediation compared with court
| Mediation | Court | |
|---|---|---|
| Typical time | A few weeks to a few months | Often many months, sometimes over a year |
| Who decides | You | A judge |
| Typical cost | £630 to £955 per person at Ark | Court and legal fees, often several thousand pounds each |
| Privacy | Confidential | Formal hearings and court records |
You can estimate your own costs with our cost estimator, and families with children may get up to £500 through the voucher scheme.
How to keep things moving
- Gather financial documents early: bank statements, payslips, pension valuations and mortgage details.
- Book your MIAM promptly and encourage the other person to book theirs.
- Focus on the future rather than past grievances.
- Take legal advice between sessions, so you can make informed decisions.
Find out more
Take the first step
Book a free 10-minute call or call 0330 043 6360 to talk about your situation and how long mediation is likely to take for you.
